In the wonderful world of fairy tales, we all have the perfect family members and we can live happily ever after in complete harmony. Yet, in reality, sometimes the only bond that links us to certain family members is the sharing of a last name. Planning a wedding can be a crucial time in which you need to make some pretty harsh decisions–like whether or not certain family members are invited to your special day. Truth be told, you really don’t need to invite anyone that you don’t want to. This is your day and it should not be filled with guilt or obligation. Celebrating one of the most momentous occasions in your life should not be shrouded in drama, right? So, it’s time to cut the cord on some of those family members that you know are nothing but trouble.
Make sure you know why you’re not inviting them.
This is pretty important. Nobody but you needs to know why you aren’t inviting them. Okay, and maybe your partner. But truthfully, make sure it’s a valid reason. Not inviting certain family members because of a silly or frivolous circumstance will probably result in more drama than if they were invited in the first place. Also keep in mind, your goal in this wedding is to never have to get married again, right? So you’re aiming to only have one wedding in your lifetime. If you know that you’re upset with a family member but will eventually get over it, make sure that you don’t regret not inviting them over a disagreement that just happens to have occurred around your wedding date.
Make sure you are comfortable with your decision.
Not comfortable like “ahhh not inviting them feels like sinking into a warm, bubble bath”. Although that might be pretty nice. But comfortable in the fact that you made a decision and it’s the right one and it’s not entirely uncomfortable to live with. Make sure you know that regardless of what this family member did to you, it is ultimately your decision to not invite them. That means you played a part in this decision making, and you need to take responsibility in it. This isn’t the blame game, this is all about removing toxicity from your special day.
Communicate your feelings and why you made the decision you did.
Whether it be with the person with whom you are having issues with, or with other family members who should probably be in the loop, be open and honest with why you aren’t inviting said drama-causer. Let them know in a mature fashion what led you to this decision. Don’t place blame, don’t point fingers, and don’t use this time to whine and complain about the person. Be honest with why you made the decision you did, and make sure they know it is in your best interest.
Don’t give in to the drama that may unfold over not inviting a family member.
Maybe other family members won’t want to come, maybe people will reach out to you beforehand to discuss the situation, or maybe you’ll look like the bad guy. These are all possible outcomes of your decision that you need to prepare for. But don’t give in to the drama. Decisions have repercussions, and while sometimes harsh, it’s simply a part of life. Try not to get involved in the drama that may envelope this situation, and instead focus on the rest of the wedding planning and all the love, laughter, and light that are heading your way.