Before you start shopping around for wedding invitations, there is another task you probably should tackle first–the dreaded wedding guest list. While some people find it simple to construct a list of all the people they wish to observe and honor their nuptials, others find it to dang near impossible to narrow everything down to one final list. There is that ever-present feeling of forgetting someone, hurting somebody by excluding them, or simply having to put finances over invitees. Of course it’s easiest to come up with the main contenders (family members, close friends, wedding party-duh) but once you get to that “gray area” part of the guest list, things can get a little dicey. For example, what about coworkers? Here you are, most likely spending more time with your coworkers than the actual person you’re marrying, so should you invite them to your big day? What if you’re closer to some coworkers and not others?! What do you do?!?!
The good news is, we’re here to help. It is totally and completely find to not invite coworkers to your wedding. So before you go feeling all guilty about not including them, continue reading in order to understand a bit more of the wedding invitation etiquette…
If you don’t really have coworkers with whom you are close outside of work, then it is fine to leave them off your wedding guest list.
For most people, they connect with certain coworkers but probably not all. Maybe you all go out for Happy Hour on Friday, but there are only a few who really know you and who you communicate with regularly outside of work. If you do not dedicate any free time to any of these people, then you do not need to invite them to your wedding. Plain and simple.
If you do invite a few coworkers, make sure they know not to make a big deal about it at work.
If you really want to avoid hurt feelings, then make sure the invitees know that talking about the wedding at work is off-limits. It is unnecessary to whisper about it, make it known who was invited and who wasn’t, and make people feel bad for no reason. Keep it under wraps, and you can gush about the excitement through text.
Consider the fact that in 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, you will want to know who is in those wedding photos and why.
Wedding photos last a lifetime. So if you’re debating over whether or not your coworkers should make the cut, then ask yourself this: will you really stay in touch with them 5, 10, 20 years from now? Will you remember who they are in the photos? Sure some people lose touch, but when you’re reminiscing with your partner on the 10th anniversary and can’t quite fathom why that stranger is in your photo, then you probably already know the answer.
Think about the money.
For many couples, wedding planning comes down to dollars and cents. Weddings can be extremely costly, and since they are mostly a sit-down affair, paying per plate is the norm. So think about this, are you willing to spend oftentimes over $100-200 per plate for someone to come and enjoy your special day?
You don’t have to invite your boss. Really.
It is common wedding etiquette to NOT invite your big boss. Weddings are supposed to be relaxing (mostly) with a lot of fun, celebration, and letting loose! You won’t want to have to worry about how your big boss feels about….I don’t know, kissing your partner so much, dancing with your family, being silly in a photo booth. The last thing you want is your boss seeing you getting a little bit tipsy at the reception and you feeling guilty about it the next day.
Always remember, try not to discuss the wedding too often in the office, especially if you aren’t planning on inviting anyone from the office. It’s easy to get caught up in the conversation, especially when people ask how the wedding planning is going. But try to be mindful of their feelings, and keep is brief and casual.
And don’t forget, if you’re getting too stressed about inviting or not inviting coworkers, you can really always just elope 😉